How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize