come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
