If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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