No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
