The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
