last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
