if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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