i don't like sucking hair
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize