Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
