I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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