You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
