Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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