is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
