it wasn't lemon gatorade
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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