I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
this is an emotional support booty call
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
