I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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