who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
