Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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