Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
BRING THE BAGELS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
