Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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