i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
dude. I can hear the air.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
