is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize