Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
