Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize