I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
