And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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