I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the day after is always just damage control
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
