How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize