when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
