Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
