All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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