cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
