how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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