remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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