Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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