well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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