About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize