Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
