I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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