He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
