my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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