awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Im part way to drunk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
