she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
