I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
