he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
