I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
