Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
