Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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