What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
