if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
