giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
