so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
