if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize