I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
