i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
