I am spending my child support on dildos
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
someone owes me an orgasm
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
