I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
