and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have already put on my inside pants.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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