I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we're making bets on your personal life
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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